Hope Deferred

** This IS a uplifting, encouraging post btw!

The ESV version of Proverbs 13:12 reads "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life." I'll be blunt, when I read that I thought "Well duh!" Everyone loves it when they feel hopeful, life is going well, something they've desired or hoped for comes true. It doesn't take a Christian or a moron to see that! (If you're offended by that word this may not be the blog for you. As I encourage, I'm also blunt and forward.)

Upon further thought and some context digging I discovered that the Hope being referred to here is not of worldly things but of Jesus. This world is full of disappointment- we can't escape it no matter how hard we try.

Let me touch base though on worldly hope. I've been in a dark pit where I have felt completely hopeless. I didn't have an ounce of strength- or so I thought, to keep hoping and believing for a day where every part of me didn't mourn or grieve. When you've been there for a long while, its easy to run to the defensive and prepare for the worst or give up.

So many times have I heard and said out loud myself "Oh, I'm not going to let myself get too excited...just incase." Incase of what? Incase we're disappointed, let down, hurt, bruised, betrayed. Our brain creates neuron pathways when we think negatively. So whenever we have a negative thought, we get defensive and believe it or prepare for the worst. You may be thinking "but how can I not think like that?! Aubrey, I haven't caught a break in years. I'm hopeless and tired." Trust me, I may not be or go through what you are exactly but I empathize. I believe the struggles we each go through God knew ahead of time but also knew what we could and could not endure.

The real challenge isn't in the wanting to not think that way but the doing. Training or reprograming your brain to allow yourself to feel hopeful, to be positive is WORK. We don't have to do it alone though. Jesus is our ultimate hope. Even if we never get a break this side of heaven. As I cannot nor do I have the answers to why we suffer more or less than others I do believe God is faithful, and if we do the work, keep Him close He will give us hope on this side of heaven.

I've been experiencing that myself lately and I'll admit I needed it! As I am tempted to revert back to old patterns and think "this won't last, this is too good to be true, buckle up and prepared to be let down or disappointed again." I'm giving it to God daily. It's funny in a way looking back. The amount of time I felt so low and hopeless seemed to never end. Now, being past that in the present moment, I think to myself, "If only I knew! lol!" "If only I had put my hope in Jesus more than man or material things."

If you are struggling to have hope, thats okay. I'm not asking you to pretend to. I didn't. Its okay to not be okay sometimes. Its also okay to think you should be okay by now but still wonder why you're not. I think when we're vulnerable like that with ourselves, others and especially God, it gives room for God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit to work because even though our hearts may feel broken beyond repair and hopeless as ever, we're in some small way still saying "I have hope, I still believe."

#Makeupforthesoul #hope #feelinghopeless #Jesus #Proverbs1312 #everydayisanewday #silverlining #yougotthis